"...and they lived happily ever after..." --- I have not come across such a profound phrase which is nothing but a statement of truth...the ultimate truth about my marriage.
When I peep into those nostalgic moments of my life it just leaves me elighted...I still remember the moment he made his grand entry into my life and extended his commitment filled arms towards me...there were violins playing all around contemplating the magical moment...there were roses and tulips and italian lilles blooming all over adding to the ambience of the moment...all the five elements around this blue planet came into a amazing sync to celebrate the occasion...I moved gracefully step by step into his arms and even to today I stay tagged for a lifetime in his mistyfying magnetism...
Life has been a wonderful journey with nothing but scenic beauty all around when we were pronounced husband and wife by the world's most divine institution...Marriage...He is everything a woman wants...and yearns for... in short he is the perfect recipe of a marriage material with a rare combination of fantasy and reality...
Sometimes people ask me "Did you marry Yudhir because you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him? " ...It would be partially incorrect if I answered "Yes" to that question...a question that had led me to where I belong today...a happy marriage...My answer to all those people who have similar questions would be..."I did not enter into a marriage with Yudhir because I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him...but I entered into this marriage because I could not live a single moment of my life without him..." He gave a meaning to my life...he gave me a reason to live...live a life that matters...
Our relationship has had its seasons of candle lit dinners...bike rides on ring roads...valentine's day celebrations...lengthy phone calls...letters running into pages...night shows to our favourite Yash chopra movies...dress to every occasion and every moment...preparing mouth watering aloo parathas...gym sessions and diets to get back into shape and fit into that right dress to make him go down on his knees every time and hear him say in his paratone voice "Will you marry me...". While we touched the peak of our emotions to say how much we love each other and how much we mean to each other, a little angel Meghana, with a million dollar smile entered our life who is an epitome of our crimson love. She took us on a wonderful journey back to our childhood...filled with innocense and love at its purest form.
From yester years till date it has been a wonderful transition from a rosy date to finding romance while watching NDTV news together. There is wild romance all round at every corner of the house. There is romance even when we just pass by each other in the living room. Today our expressions might not be flaunting but are much deeper and profound.
His words..soothing music to my ears...
His touch...a statement of commitment...
His smile...the onset of spring...
His arms...the most peaceful abode on this blueplanet...
His style...quintessential...
All I need to feed myself for the rest of my life is the aura of his presense. In short life with him has not been a collection of moments but moments that take my breath away.
I thank the omnipotent for his touch of grace on me....my womanhood is blessed for having found a place for myself in the heart of a man who taught me neither to fall in love nor to rise in love...but to LIVE IN LOVE...
A token of gratitude towards a man taught me what it means to LIVE...
Friday, November 24, 2006
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Modern Marriage...raising too many questions...
Marriage...a divine institution like no other, boarding two of its believers on a flight of enduring companionship and happiness...fuelled day in and day out with the C-word...yes Commitment...this instituion is held with very high esteem from centuries. It is believed to be made in heaven and nurtured on this blue planet.
Observing the alarming statistis of increased failure in marriage, sometimes makes me ponder the relevance of marriage in today's world. I realised its time to get my grey cells working...There are too many questions and too few answers to explain these statistics. We hear a lot of views from people. This is such an interesting and debateable topic that even NDTV found a slot to discuss the same on their noted show "We the people". This is a talk show on NDTV hosted by Barkha Dutt. I believe this is one of the best shows on NDTV where they discuss a specific topic by getting a panel of experienced people who can very well comment on the selected topic and a set of common citizens like you and me who not only comment on the topic but also ask some right questions keeping the panel on their toes. I enjoyed the program thoroughly and derived some interesting gyan on marriage. The panel consisted of veteran director/producer Karan Johar, Shahrukh Khan, Sunita Menon(an astrologer, tarot card reader and counsellor), Anupam Mittal (CEO of Shaadi.com), Anjali Chaabria( a doctor ) and Shobhaa De(reputed columnist/writer).
Before I state my take on marriage, the interesting gyan I derived from the program are the following:
1.Marriage is a good institution for people who can commit only. If you are a person who is kinda getting attracted to more than one person..then marriage is not recommended for you.
2. In India, we need to get out of this age bar for marriage. One must not feel tensed if he/she is not settled at the age of 32 or 35. Its okay to remain single if you can support yourself and are self dependent. Society must stop putting pressure on people to get married before a particular age.
Now for some interesting points…
3.Kabhi alvida na kehna(Acronym:KANK, the movie that inspired NDTV to take up this topic of Modern marriage. This movie deals with extra marital affairs and its context in modern days) does not in anyway support the idea of infidility. It just dipicts one of the paths a person like Dev or Maya(characters played by shahrukh and rani in the movie) might take in case of a unhappy marriage. It tries to bring about a point that it is possible that you could be married to a perfect person but still the connection might be missing between partners and the result is “Unhappy marriage”.
4. Everyone in this world cheats if they can get away with it. Lack of opportunities is one of the best reasons why people stay committed in a relationship/loyal to their partners.
5. Infidility at times is viewed as minor flirtations by the current generation and is not taken too seriously. So infidility is not enough of a reason for some to walk out of marriage. Infact for some infidility is a non-issue in current scenario.
6. Marriage is very individual. Please do not generalise the meaning of marriage. The meaning of marriage to you is your marriage. No one can predict what works and what does not for couples in general. Its an individual matter and should be dealt that way. KANK was one of such individual issues in marriage that Karan johar tried to portray. So dont take cinema too seriously. But unfortunately in India cinema is taken quite seriously.
7. In earlier times, communication was not an issue in marriage, but today it is. Lack of communication is one of the main reasons why today’s marriages are weaker. Same with incompatibility. It was not an issue earlier but in today’s marriage it is. We see that today’s marriage is more demanding in terms of involvement, communication, compatibility etc and this is reviewed at every stage of marriage. It is possible that you have had a happy marriage for 15 years and fail in the 16th year. So today’s marriage need to be worked every day.
8. People who walk out of marriage many times are not happier. Ofcourse in case of people who have walked out of abusive marriages or in other real serious cases are defnitelty happier. But in cases of walking out of marriage because of infidility and such other issues, people after divorce are worse than what they were inside their marriage. This soceity somehow does not allow them to forget their bitter past. They are reminded all the time that they did ruin the life of their partner. Or at times guilt haunts them.
9. Walking out of marriage is a solution only in case of abusive marriages or such other serious cases.But in other cases it is still recommended for people to work on marriage rather than walking out of it. Children are one of the main reasons why people avoid walking out of a marriage. But still a question remains “Can unhappy parents bring up happy children…?”. The Answer is “NO”. Unhappy parents cannot bring up happy childrenand the couple has to take decision amicably in such a case of parents separting.
Now my take on the above topic:
To start with something light....
I did watch the movie "Kabhi alvida naa kehna" that inspired NDTV to take up this topic and after watching this movie believe me I was running all round Garuda mall looking for head ache medicine.
Moral of the story if any that this candy floss bollywood movie tried to convey:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
* Fight and agrue with your spouse for no reason…and at the end of it all dont forget to blame your spouse for the missing passion in marriage
* If you have some free time after marriage look for having an extra marital affair
* Buy a blue car if your girlfriend outside your marriage, likes the color blue…and she will shamelessly dance with you on the streets of Newyork…But when her husband asks her to join him for a dance in a party organised by their own family….she will just yell saying she hates all that….make faces and walk out of the party.
* Your wife is not even allowed to share her career development…as in her promotions etc with you…she is not allowed to say that she denied a promotion because she loves you and her family because she is trying to pin point on your failures…
* Dont feel passionate for your handsome..romantic…caring loving husband…but fall prey at a hotel room for a cynical…crippled…man outside your marriage
* You cant bear a child…not at all a problem…leave your husband
* Your wife is more successful than you are…not at all a problem…leave your wife…
* If you suffering from inferiority complex inside your marriage…extra marital affair is the treatment…
I believe arts/entertainment industry is a very powerful media to educate people while providing them some good entertainment. If there is nothing to educate people on...well accepted...then provide some good entertainment and be done with it. Sending wrong signals/messages is an undervalue to the masses clogging into multiplexes .This movie did nothing but to send wrong signals. A serious subject matter handled with great deal of irresponsibility.
Marriage is a very divine instituion. Ask me...I am married with a sweet little child. Based on my experience…this is what marriage means to me…
Plus:
* An excellent feeling of security,a sense of belonging and a feeling of completeness and contentment…
* A feeling so special to share your life in companionship where there is mutual love and understanding...
* Good times or Bad times…there is always someone to listen to you and stand by you(if not solve your problem)...
* Every special moment gets translated into a nostalic album instantaneously...A revisit into these innumerable albums leave you nothing but elighted...
* Every move with your spouse in sync is a piece of painting in the life's art gallery...
* Every word of love, sensitivity and understanding delivered is the most soothing music to your ears...There is always soo much to say and soo much to hear...
* An aura...a mistyfying magnestism that keeps two souls tagged forever...
Slight disturbances but not problems though:
* One aspect of your life(specially kids) that affect every decision you take and at times forces you into a decision/path which you would not have taken otherwise
* At times you feel you cant make time for your self and your other interests
* Tend to take partners for granted
Some things that work for me…
* Never sleep on a fight
* When to say “Enough is enough..”…..The answer is “NEVER”…always give it another chance and it will defnitely work…and you feel much better for you understand your partner today more than yesterday…However dejected you feel..the D word(Divorce) is not at all an answer…believe me…the life is worse after that…
* Your spouse is the best…there arent too good chiks or chiknas around…they might all look rosy for a moment, but your spouse is that Golden flower that never fades and is the most priceless possession of yours…So dont even bother to regret your marriage…
* At times take a chill pill…life is not as complicated as we see it…infact its quite simple…give a jaadu ki jappi and see the magic…Life is beautiful…
We see a lot of people speaking out loud how women are forced to sacrifice and compromise, Indian marriages are all about compromise and sacrifices. Ask me...I am 200% pro-marriage and I recommend that to all who can commit. For me marriage is a commitment to self, a commitment to the sacred instituion before I term it as a commitment to a partner. Also I would like to express that whatever sacrifices or compromises I have made within my marriage was mainly due to the reason that I love my family. And isnt that beauty of a relationship. I dont even want to term them as compromises because never ever I was forced to take such decisions. They were solely mine and I have taken certain decisions after weighing the pros and cons of the options enough. Leave it to time to justify those decisions and you will never regret.Have you asked yourself a question...If your mother or father would have walked out of marriage in cases of some disturbances or issues within marriage would you have had a healthy development as a child? The answer is NO...Today as Indians we must be proud of our values and sentiments towards marriage. Flipping calendar years cannot fade the sanctity of Marriage and neither change its definition.
Interestingly I see some people commenting about “Indians not ready to accept the truth..”…”Indians not ready to accept love to be greater than marriage”…"Infidility is a non-issue in current scenario". Does any of these statements sound familiar. Espcially with the Page-3 personalities...Dont even bother to give it a thought. They are doing nothing but calling their lifestyle with names. If your defnition for love is what was portrayed by in some of these bollywood movies that glorify infidility with stardom, catchy background score, exotic locations and designer wear…phew..get your basics right…Such things happens in reality with those people who are cynical, depressed, confused set of people who just do not know what to get out of life.Marriage is a divine institution…unless in cases of abuse and extreme cases as society looks at it..there is no need to walk out of a marriage…it can be worked out with some commiment and interest…infidility and adultry is a NO NO…and its doing nothing but de-grading a divine institution of marriage and in no way maturity…I guess statements like finding your soulmate after marriage…love is more important than marriage…such statements have been used very cheaply by these people for finding some escape routes after marriage…do all this before marriage…now thats maturity and also sensibility…dont get into it if you feel you cant stay committed…
If one of the partners within marriage is unhappy and so is the other. If you are going through this agony of a unhappy marriage so is your spouse. Use positivity and rationale to stick on and move rather than looking out for escape routes…Negative appraoch to life only rocks all relationships and hurts your loved ones… So we Indians are not hypocrites but we want to see life in a positive way. We believe in living a life that matters.
Eventually...."Its your life...its your relationships...if you think intellectually you might take one type of decision and if you think emotionally you might take a different decision....This entire life is lead in this space between the head and the heart..."
-Archana
Observing the alarming statistis of increased failure in marriage, sometimes makes me ponder the relevance of marriage in today's world. I realised its time to get my grey cells working...There are too many questions and too few answers to explain these statistics. We hear a lot of views from people. This is such an interesting and debateable topic that even NDTV found a slot to discuss the same on their noted show "We the people". This is a talk show on NDTV hosted by Barkha Dutt. I believe this is one of the best shows on NDTV where they discuss a specific topic by getting a panel of experienced people who can very well comment on the selected topic and a set of common citizens like you and me who not only comment on the topic but also ask some right questions keeping the panel on their toes. I enjoyed the program thoroughly and derived some interesting gyan on marriage. The panel consisted of veteran director/producer Karan Johar, Shahrukh Khan, Sunita Menon(an astrologer, tarot card reader and counsellor), Anupam Mittal (CEO of Shaadi.com), Anjali Chaabria( a doctor ) and Shobhaa De(reputed columnist/writer).
Before I state my take on marriage, the interesting gyan I derived from the program are the following:
1.Marriage is a good institution for people who can commit only. If you are a person who is kinda getting attracted to more than one person..then marriage is not recommended for you.
2. In India, we need to get out of this age bar for marriage. One must not feel tensed if he/she is not settled at the age of 32 or 35. Its okay to remain single if you can support yourself and are self dependent. Society must stop putting pressure on people to get married before a particular age.
Now for some interesting points…
3.Kabhi alvida na kehna(Acronym:KANK, the movie that inspired NDTV to take up this topic of Modern marriage. This movie deals with extra marital affairs and its context in modern days) does not in anyway support the idea of infidility. It just dipicts one of the paths a person like Dev or Maya(characters played by shahrukh and rani in the movie) might take in case of a unhappy marriage. It tries to bring about a point that it is possible that you could be married to a perfect person but still the connection might be missing between partners and the result is “Unhappy marriage”.
4. Everyone in this world cheats if they can get away with it. Lack of opportunities is one of the best reasons why people stay committed in a relationship/loyal to their partners.
5. Infidility at times is viewed as minor flirtations by the current generation and is not taken too seriously. So infidility is not enough of a reason for some to walk out of marriage. Infact for some infidility is a non-issue in current scenario.
6. Marriage is very individual. Please do not generalise the meaning of marriage. The meaning of marriage to you is your marriage. No one can predict what works and what does not for couples in general. Its an individual matter and should be dealt that way. KANK was one of such individual issues in marriage that Karan johar tried to portray. So dont take cinema too seriously. But unfortunately in India cinema is taken quite seriously.
7. In earlier times, communication was not an issue in marriage, but today it is. Lack of communication is one of the main reasons why today’s marriages are weaker. Same with incompatibility. It was not an issue earlier but in today’s marriage it is. We see that today’s marriage is more demanding in terms of involvement, communication, compatibility etc and this is reviewed at every stage of marriage. It is possible that you have had a happy marriage for 15 years and fail in the 16th year. So today’s marriage need to be worked every day.
8. People who walk out of marriage many times are not happier. Ofcourse in case of people who have walked out of abusive marriages or in other real serious cases are defnitelty happier. But in cases of walking out of marriage because of infidility and such other issues, people after divorce are worse than what they were inside their marriage. This soceity somehow does not allow them to forget their bitter past. They are reminded all the time that they did ruin the life of their partner. Or at times guilt haunts them.
9. Walking out of marriage is a solution only in case of abusive marriages or such other serious cases.But in other cases it is still recommended for people to work on marriage rather than walking out of it. Children are one of the main reasons why people avoid walking out of a marriage. But still a question remains “Can unhappy parents bring up happy children…?”. The Answer is “NO”. Unhappy parents cannot bring up happy childrenand the couple has to take decision amicably in such a case of parents separting.
Now my take on the above topic:
To start with something light....
I did watch the movie "Kabhi alvida naa kehna" that inspired NDTV to take up this topic and after watching this movie believe me I was running all round Garuda mall looking for head ache medicine.
Moral of the story if any that this candy floss bollywood movie tried to convey:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
* Fight and agrue with your spouse for no reason…and at the end of it all dont forget to blame your spouse for the missing passion in marriage
* If you have some free time after marriage look for having an extra marital affair
* Buy a blue car if your girlfriend outside your marriage, likes the color blue…and she will shamelessly dance with you on the streets of Newyork…But when her husband asks her to join him for a dance in a party organised by their own family….she will just yell saying she hates all that….make faces and walk out of the party.
* Your wife is not even allowed to share her career development…as in her promotions etc with you…she is not allowed to say that she denied a promotion because she loves you and her family because she is trying to pin point on your failures…
* Dont feel passionate for your handsome..romantic…caring loving husband…but fall prey at a hotel room for a cynical…crippled…man outside your marriage
* You cant bear a child…not at all a problem…leave your husband
* Your wife is more successful than you are…not at all a problem…leave your wife…
* If you suffering from inferiority complex inside your marriage…extra marital affair is the treatment…
I believe arts/entertainment industry is a very powerful media to educate people while providing them some good entertainment. If there is nothing to educate people on...well accepted...then provide some good entertainment and be done with it. Sending wrong signals/messages is an undervalue to the masses clogging into multiplexes .This movie did nothing but to send wrong signals. A serious subject matter handled with great deal of irresponsibility.
Marriage is a very divine instituion. Ask me...I am married with a sweet little child. Based on my experience…this is what marriage means to me…
Plus:
* An excellent feeling of security,a sense of belonging and a feeling of completeness and contentment…
* A feeling so special to share your life in companionship where there is mutual love and understanding...
* Good times or Bad times…there is always someone to listen to you and stand by you(if not solve your problem)...
* Every special moment gets translated into a nostalic album instantaneously...A revisit into these innumerable albums leave you nothing but elighted...
* Every move with your spouse in sync is a piece of painting in the life's art gallery...
* Every word of love, sensitivity and understanding delivered is the most soothing music to your ears...There is always soo much to say and soo much to hear...
* An aura...a mistyfying magnestism that keeps two souls tagged forever...
Slight disturbances but not problems though:
* One aspect of your life(specially kids) that affect every decision you take and at times forces you into a decision/path which you would not have taken otherwise
* At times you feel you cant make time for your self and your other interests
* Tend to take partners for granted
Some things that work for me…
* Never sleep on a fight
* When to say “Enough is enough..”…..The answer is “NEVER”…always give it another chance and it will defnitely work…and you feel much better for you understand your partner today more than yesterday…However dejected you feel..the D word(Divorce) is not at all an answer…believe me…the life is worse after that…
* Your spouse is the best…there arent too good chiks or chiknas around…they might all look rosy for a moment, but your spouse is that Golden flower that never fades and is the most priceless possession of yours…So dont even bother to regret your marriage…
* At times take a chill pill…life is not as complicated as we see it…infact its quite simple…give a jaadu ki jappi and see the magic…Life is beautiful…
We see a lot of people speaking out loud how women are forced to sacrifice and compromise, Indian marriages are all about compromise and sacrifices. Ask me...I am 200% pro-marriage and I recommend that to all who can commit. For me marriage is a commitment to self, a commitment to the sacred instituion before I term it as a commitment to a partner. Also I would like to express that whatever sacrifices or compromises I have made within my marriage was mainly due to the reason that I love my family. And isnt that beauty of a relationship. I dont even want to term them as compromises because never ever I was forced to take such decisions. They were solely mine and I have taken certain decisions after weighing the pros and cons of the options enough. Leave it to time to justify those decisions and you will never regret.Have you asked yourself a question...If your mother or father would have walked out of marriage in cases of some disturbances or issues within marriage would you have had a healthy development as a child? The answer is NO...Today as Indians we must be proud of our values and sentiments towards marriage. Flipping calendar years cannot fade the sanctity of Marriage and neither change its definition.
Interestingly I see some people commenting about “Indians not ready to accept the truth..”…”Indians not ready to accept love to be greater than marriage”…"Infidility is a non-issue in current scenario". Does any of these statements sound familiar. Espcially with the Page-3 personalities...Dont even bother to give it a thought. They are doing nothing but calling their lifestyle with names. If your defnition for love is what was portrayed by in some of these bollywood movies that glorify infidility with stardom, catchy background score, exotic locations and designer wear…phew..get your basics right…Such things happens in reality with those people who are cynical, depressed, confused set of people who just do not know what to get out of life.Marriage is a divine institution…unless in cases of abuse and extreme cases as society looks at it..there is no need to walk out of a marriage…it can be worked out with some commiment and interest…infidility and adultry is a NO NO…and its doing nothing but de-grading a divine institution of marriage and in no way maturity…I guess statements like finding your soulmate after marriage…love is more important than marriage…such statements have been used very cheaply by these people for finding some escape routes after marriage…do all this before marriage…now thats maturity and also sensibility…dont get into it if you feel you cant stay committed…
If one of the partners within marriage is unhappy and so is the other. If you are going through this agony of a unhappy marriage so is your spouse. Use positivity and rationale to stick on and move rather than looking out for escape routes…Negative appraoch to life only rocks all relationships and hurts your loved ones… So we Indians are not hypocrites but we want to see life in a positive way. We believe in living a life that matters.
Eventually...."Its your life...its your relationships...if you think intellectually you might take one type of decision and if you think emotionally you might take a different decision....This entire life is lead in this space between the head and the heart..."
-Archana
Monday, September 25, 2006
Fighting spirit...
It was a rainy Sunday afternoon and as I was lazily sipping through my cup of tea on my couch, my wandering eyes halted at the family portrait on the wall. I kept glaring at it for sometime and I did see two protagonists in this portrait emerging out strongly. I looked deeply at the portrait again only to hear a inspiring story these protagonists had to say. A whole struggle to get to where they belong today, the upper strata of the society. They took me through their struggling yet intriguing journey of fighting for a respectable identity in terms of their social status.I was left with an awe at the end of it all.
Today when I retrospect on their struggle...the struggle of my close family folk..., I undoubtedly adore their fighting spirit that kept fuelling their life boat to get to the harbour when they were deserted by their own family amidst the tidal waves of the ocean.
To start with, life to them was a walk on the most tasty and yummy black forest cake that had all the necessary ingredients to look for. Richness and flattery of the metro lifestyle...a courtship with a college sweetheart eventually ending into a flaunting Punjabi wedding ceremony. All was a smooth ride until the wedding turned into a marriage, a union of not just two individuals but two families, two different ideologies clashing at its unison. What followed was not the expected happily ever after but unleashing the mask of a family that holds the title of educated, ultra modernity only to find a typical mother-in-law waiting with a "arti thali" to welcome the new bride into a power game.
And then what else would you expect? Nothing but a saas-bahu saga that had everything a competent high TRP K-serials would have to offer. Parents making the life of their son a hell by continuously taunting and finding fault with the new daughter-in-law for no reason. Getting into dirty power games with their own son and daughter-in-law. Not understanding the difference between assertiveness and misbehavior. Parents who out of their own ego had ruined their relationships with their son and daughter-in-law by closing all doors of learning, improvement and got themselves into a non-listening mode. Home was no more a comfort zone but a battlefield. The matter had so much gone out of control leaving no option but to separate amicably for better quality of life. "Amicable separation"...Its easily said than done for it took a lot out of the two noble souls. Amicable separation meant moving into a alien city leaving their hometown. It also meant resigning a permanent job position that had a promising career path and high salary into a contract job with lesser compensation. Above all it meant desertion from the family financially, socially, morally and emotionally. Though all these had its share of emotional turmoil on the devoted couple, but it was all taken on a stride. Their marriage was not just to feed the momentary physical needs and to topple on slight inconveniences. It was a marriage which stood all vicissitudes only to grow stronger and stable. It marked a new beginning of their life...
There was an initial jitter when they moved into a small town from a metro city. Everything was new. Job, home, environment, local language etc. They did not have all they had until now but what they had now was something they were yearning for months from the time of their wedding. QUALITY TIME FOR EACH OTHER...A space they had to share with no-one else...and within no time they had turned their abode into a home filled with happiness and love. They were strongest when they were together with no other person interfering into their arena. They moved on by working harder and harder day by day to get better at the career front, at the bank balance and at the home front. As days moved on it only got more tougher for the contract job was continuing to be a contract, the bank statements did not show fancy numbers and to make matter worse the duo had to go through the loss of a expected baby not
once but twice. But the couple did not lose heart and they tried harder and harder and each time they bounced back with more dedication, more determination and undisturbed focus. It involved sitting in the cyber cafe for several mid nights looking for a better career opportunity, cutting down costs on family extravaganza, travel and vacation. No hard work goes unblessed. Eventually a opportunity was waiting for the duo at the IT corridor of India with a job at an esteemed organization. They waited no longer to grab this opportunity and move into the new promising city.
Ah...Now there was some soothing fresh air to wipe off their sweaty struggle. They knew they had reached their first target. Now not only did they continue to have quality time for each other but now it was complimented with better quality of lifestyle and garnished with new set of aspirations and dreams. Life took a steeping turn with the new city that was young, hip and hop for the couple to look for some family extravaganza and a bank balance to meet the same. But what is most interesting was they did not stop over and take a nap like the famous rabbit in the running race with the tortoise. They also did not buy into the idea of slow and steady wins the race but their belief was fast and consistent wins the race. They moved on with great karizma and style in all sectors of life. Sector of career that brought in two quick and sequential promotions reciprocating the hard work, a dream home that was self made down to its every brick, a sedan to pamper their new social status and of all the precious gift of a newborn life to symbolize their divine love for eachother.The family portrait was complete when the misunderstood family bounced back with repentance and regret to strengthen the bonds of brotherhood.
Life has blessed their hard work, their dedication, determination and focus. They continue to progress for better day by day without stopping over. What amazes me is their unending weariless fighting spirit towards betterment of life and betterment of loved ones. You could look at their life in the most simplistic way or through its layers, it only has one message...Never stop fighting...for hard work with dedication, determination and focus always pays back and gets you to your target. And what is this target....its definitely not worldly or tangible, though it could seem so...its all about going a step beyond your orbit to show your divine selfless love for the love of your life.
A token of adoration towards the wonderful couple and their fighting spirit...
Archana
Today when I retrospect on their struggle...the struggle of my close family folk..., I undoubtedly adore their fighting spirit that kept fuelling their life boat to get to the harbour when they were deserted by their own family amidst the tidal waves of the ocean.
To start with, life to them was a walk on the most tasty and yummy black forest cake that had all the necessary ingredients to look for. Richness and flattery of the metro lifestyle...a courtship with a college sweetheart eventually ending into a flaunting Punjabi wedding ceremony. All was a smooth ride until the wedding turned into a marriage, a union of not just two individuals but two families, two different ideologies clashing at its unison. What followed was not the expected happily ever after but unleashing the mask of a family that holds the title of educated, ultra modernity only to find a typical mother-in-law waiting with a "arti thali" to welcome the new bride into a power game.
And then what else would you expect? Nothing but a saas-bahu saga that had everything a competent high TRP K-serials would have to offer. Parents making the life of their son a hell by continuously taunting and finding fault with the new daughter-in-law for no reason. Getting into dirty power games with their own son and daughter-in-law. Not understanding the difference between assertiveness and misbehavior. Parents who out of their own ego had ruined their relationships with their son and daughter-in-law by closing all doors of learning, improvement and got themselves into a non-listening mode. Home was no more a comfort zone but a battlefield. The matter had so much gone out of control leaving no option but to separate amicably for better quality of life. "Amicable separation"...Its easily said than done for it took a lot out of the two noble souls. Amicable separation meant moving into a alien city leaving their hometown. It also meant resigning a permanent job position that had a promising career path and high salary into a contract job with lesser compensation. Above all it meant desertion from the family financially, socially, morally and emotionally. Though all these had its share of emotional turmoil on the devoted couple, but it was all taken on a stride. Their marriage was not just to feed the momentary physical needs and to topple on slight inconveniences. It was a marriage which stood all vicissitudes only to grow stronger and stable. It marked a new beginning of their life...
There was an initial jitter when they moved into a small town from a metro city. Everything was new. Job, home, environment, local language etc. They did not have all they had until now but what they had now was something they were yearning for months from the time of their wedding. QUALITY TIME FOR EACH OTHER...A space they had to share with no-one else...and within no time they had turned their abode into a home filled with happiness and love. They were strongest when they were together with no other person interfering into their arena. They moved on by working harder and harder day by day to get better at the career front, at the bank balance and at the home front. As days moved on it only got more tougher for the contract job was continuing to be a contract, the bank statements did not show fancy numbers and to make matter worse the duo had to go through the loss of a expected baby not
once but twice. But the couple did not lose heart and they tried harder and harder and each time they bounced back with more dedication, more determination and undisturbed focus. It involved sitting in the cyber cafe for several mid nights looking for a better career opportunity, cutting down costs on family extravaganza, travel and vacation. No hard work goes unblessed. Eventually a opportunity was waiting for the duo at the IT corridor of India with a job at an esteemed organization. They waited no longer to grab this opportunity and move into the new promising city.
Ah...Now there was some soothing fresh air to wipe off their sweaty struggle. They knew they had reached their first target. Now not only did they continue to have quality time for each other but now it was complimented with better quality of lifestyle and garnished with new set of aspirations and dreams. Life took a steeping turn with the new city that was young, hip and hop for the couple to look for some family extravaganza and a bank balance to meet the same. But what is most interesting was they did not stop over and take a nap like the famous rabbit in the running race with the tortoise. They also did not buy into the idea of slow and steady wins the race but their belief was fast and consistent wins the race. They moved on with great karizma and style in all sectors of life. Sector of career that brought in two quick and sequential promotions reciprocating the hard work, a dream home that was self made down to its every brick, a sedan to pamper their new social status and of all the precious gift of a newborn life to symbolize their divine love for eachother.The family portrait was complete when the misunderstood family bounced back with repentance and regret to strengthen the bonds of brotherhood.
Life has blessed their hard work, their dedication, determination and focus. They continue to progress for better day by day without stopping over. What amazes me is their unending weariless fighting spirit towards betterment of life and betterment of loved ones. You could look at their life in the most simplistic way or through its layers, it only has one message...Never stop fighting...for hard work with dedication, determination and focus always pays back and gets you to your target. And what is this target....its definitely not worldly or tangible, though it could seem so...its all about going a step beyond your orbit to show your divine selfless love for the love of your life.
A token of adoration towards the wonderful couple and their fighting spirit...
Archana
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